Hello, my dears! How are you doing today? Today I have come with a very special article to spread a little love. With all the negativity going around us it is never a bad idea to encourage everyone to love a bit more. And it all starts with self-love!
In this post, I´m going to speak a little about coming to terms with oneself. And about learning to love yourself. When you connect with your own feelings and needs, it becomes easier to love yourself. And you will be happier with your life in general. Whether it´s with professional help or not, we must always aspire to be at our best. Sometimes the road may be hard, but nothing should stop you from living the way you want.
Here you will find some words of encouragement and hopefully you will realize that you are not alone. Not ever. Whether you crossdress, are transitioning or are wondering where inside the spectrum you are. You are beautiful, unique and you should love yourself.
Getting to Know Yourself and Your Desires
The first thing that you must think is, who you are and what makes you happy? If you got the answer for that question, you are halfway there. As I said before, this article is about self-acceptance and self-love. And to accept and love oneself, we must first know ourselves. Of course we are constantly growing and learning as time goes by. And that´s ok, life without adventure would be but a bore. But in essence, we are more or less the same all our lives. So, the first step is to know who you are and what you desire in general. Of course there is always room for self-discovery, but we´ll get to that soon enough.
If you are reading this, you are probably battling against your feelings because you crossdress, you are transgendered, thinking about transitioning or you are far from heteronormativity. Even if you don’t feel identified with any of that, it shouldn’t matter. And THAT’s the point. You should know and love yourself no matter what. With that in mind, let’s begin this amazing and revealing journey.
Learning to Forgive Yourself
As certain as we are humans, we are bound to make mistakes. And it´s okay and you should learn that, if you haven’t yet. We are going to make mistakes almost everyday of our life and thanks to them, we learn a little each day. Some bones may be harder than others, it’s true. But it’s the will we have and how we act upon them that define us. I’m optimistic and believe that we should aspire to be better financially, socially, and personally. And perhaps that’s why you are still reading this and I’m writing it. In this day and age, the person is the less promoted one. There’s a “normality” that´s generally encouraged to keep everyone functional in society. Everything that breaks those standards is bound to criticism. But just as mistakes, someone is always criticizing you. It is unavoidable. We have to know how to identify in what way the critic is presented. It’s not the same as someone starting a gossip about you and someone saying something to your face. Someone who loves may criticize you but concerning you make the right decisions for your well-being. Whether they are right or wrong, that’s up to you to decide.
If there´s any purpose in life is to be happy and how is your decision alone. I wanted to start this article with this mindset in mind. You must learn how to forgive yourself for all the times you were wrong. But learn from mistakes and learn to forgive others. We are all together in this. Speaking with your loved ones about your feelings is always a good exercise. There are some that don’t feel comfortable having deep conversations with anyone they know. Or maybe doesn´t share all their thoughts. And it´s understandable. Only you know why. If that´s the case, there´s always professionals you can go to, if you can afford it.
The point is that for you to grow and learn, you need to forgive yourself. We are carrying a heavy burden every day in our lives. This doesn´t mean to live irresponsibly without regard for others feelings, the opposite in fact. But as we learn to forgive, we learn to apologize. It is not often that we hear an honest “I’m sorry.” Think about how many times you mean it. Say it when you mean it, and say it all the times that are necessary. To others and to you. Forgive your past, present, and future self. You are going to make a lot of mistakes and misguided assumptions along the way. And you are going to learn from those. Sometimes faster than others, but enjoying the path is essential. With this mindset let’s move onto the next point.
Picture Your Desires and Work towards Them
Once you know who you are and what makes happy the next thing is acting upon that. Enjoy life however you want. Since this blog is mainly about crossdressing lifestyle, I want a make a special emphasis on that. But I don’t want to exclude anyone. As I said before, you should love yourself no matter what. Every human being is miraculous unique. YOU are amazing and you should know it.
But we are immersed in a global culture that has set, with few exceptions, a well-defined line between genders and personalities. People have been earning rights through history, and blurring those lines each day a little. But we are far from over yet. Not so long ago, it was unthinkable to see a woman wearing pants. How´s that different from a man wearing a skirt or dress? Still, today is not normal when it is actually a vast population that crossdress. Whether they admit it or not. Nevertheless, what’s stopping you from living the way you like is you.
The road may hurt and there are some hard to make decisions. But if it’s with your own happiness in mind, you are taking a step in the right direction. Do you want to be able to crossdress at your work? There are plenty of possibilities in today’s world. Do you want to walk freely and safely on the streets? There are little steps that you can take and big steps like moving out. Be proud of what you are, what you have become and what you are aspiring to be. Project your ideal life in a few years from now and work towards it. And don’t be anxious, happiness is along the way, it’s not the destination. Enjoying your present self is very important. That present you is surrounded by people, which brings me to the next point.
Surround Yourself with People that You Love and Loves You
There’s a quote from “Into the Wild” that I love that says: “Happiness is only real when shared.” And I believe that´s a wonderful way to see the world.
Live surrounded by people you love and care about. And that they do the same for you. People that encourage you and support you. People that are always there for you when you need them. Do the same for them. Having someone to trust even in the hardest moments will help you get through them. You can share your interests, fears, and thoughts with them. Speaking about things with somebody will “materialize” those things and make it easier to work on them. You will also develop a more personal, deep and honest relationship with that person.
A quick browse through the internet and you will realize that you are not alone. Beware, because there is a lot of cat phishing and whatnot. But there are a lot of people online that are honest and good. Reddit, for instance, is a particular site where you are going to find yourself identified with at least a few subreddits. I strongly recommend using as few personal information as you can while surfing the web. But reading and interacting with people about their personal experiences it’s truly enlightening. Sub forums like /crossdressing may be of some interest if you are reading this.
As humans we are capable of a tremendous amount of love and creativity that is often overlooked. We must not forget that to enjoy our lives to the fullest. Know, love and forgive yourself as you do to others. I’m certain you are going to find a lot of amazing people and experiences along the way.
I hope that you have found a little encouragement in these words to live more freely. You should know that you are capable of accomplishing anything that you want. You are an amazing person and you should live life on your terms without hurting others. We seem to forget that the person besides us it´s as human as we are. Be kind to you and others. Follow your dreams and love yourself. Learn to apologize and forgive. There are a lot of people like you and thanks to the internet we are closer than ever. You must learn the lessons the past has taught you. But don’t let the past define who you are. You are alive and you can choose wherever you want to go from here.
It’s hard work we all have in front of us. It’s a long way full of forks on the road. Full of mistakes and lessons. But we are not going anywhere if we don’t start walking. If you like, I would love to read a little about you in the comments and what you think. I believe in the power of community that we can build. Your experiences and thoughts are very important. I hope that you are all doing very well and taking care of yourselves and your loved ones.