There are so many things involved when transitioning to your femme self—clothing and makeup are just the beginning. Although most of us know what to do, we’re doing it the wrong way. We are wearing cheap wigs or rocking our natural short hair, which degrades our appearance and reduces our femininity.
We sure don’t want that! As you well know, our goal is to look as feminine as possible. That’s why I took the liberty to address some of the top 7 don’ts for MtF transformation.
So, do you want to know what you’re doing wrong? Read below to find out.
1. Shaving your hair poorly
Did you know that you can look more feminine by properly shaving your skin? Yes, a nice clean shave can give you the silky soft skin that most females have!
While beginning your MtF journey, you might be tempted to use any technique available to get rid of your beard, arms and legs hair, as well as pubic hair. But, remember, while the main issue is the hair how your skin will look afterwards is also important. So, be sure to shave correctly.
Start by investing in a high-quality razor. Cheap razors will only irritate your skin. They cause dryness, flakiness and also acne, which will make your skin dull and unattractive. Using a high-quality razor can speed things up and reduce the risk of such outcomes.
To achieve a clean shave, it’s essential to take care of yourself before and after the shave. Be sure to use a pre-shave oil, shaving cream, and shaving brush to reduce the shaving time and ensure a close, clean finish.
Also, be sure to moisturize your skin for the perfect feminine look.
2. Choosing to wear the incorrect bra size
Wearing the incorrect bra size is similar to wearing the wrong shoe size: it’s inconvenient, noticeable, and detracts from the overall look. It will also show people that you’re an amateur.
Furthermore, it will not correctly define/highlight your bust—which are essential for underlining femininity in MtF transformation. Our bust is one of the core features that people set their eyes on, and so, it needs to look perky and sexy.
It’s important to mention that even if you have the best outfit and makeup, but your bra is not on point, you will not create a good or lasting impression. In contrast, you can be the talk of the town just by wearing the correct bra size.
Remember this: A properly fitting bra not only serves as the basis for any outfit, but it can also boost your confidence. It can help you highlight your sexy bust, making you look more appealing and feminine.
So, when buying a bra, ensure that it’s the perfect fit—both cup-wise and strap-wise.
3. Using an excessive amount of makeup
This is one of the biggest mistakes that crossdressers do. I know it’s easy to get caught up when you’ve started experimenting with makeup. However, do everything in moderation.
So, when can you tell that you’ve overdone it? First, everything pops! When applying makeup, the rule is to highlight one feature. NOT ALL! That means no bright red lips, dark smokey eyes, and pink cheeks, all at once.
Make one feature stand out while keeping the rest neutral or minimal. That’s how you look soft and feminine.
Another way to know is if you have a “tan-line” between your neck and jaw. The most common mistake we make is applying a visible foundation line to our skin.
Always use a foundation that matches your skin tone. Darlings, you can’t “fake” a tan by using a darker foundation! That’s why we bronze!
Lastly, don’t use all the colors in your palette. I love buying eye quads or eyeshadows with 30 shades. But having that many color combinations doesn’t mean you must use them all.
It’s fun to experiment with colors — particularly with lip gloss or lipstick. But very carefully! You don’t need a variety of colors, so keep it natural and pretty!
Before we get to the next point, I’d like to tell you a little secret. You’ll look more feminine and appealing if you look natural rather than caked-on. Be sure to show off your natural glow!
4. Wearing a low-quality wig or none at all
Has your wig ever tangled or matte in public? If you answered yes, then you know why I strongly advocate against cheap wigs. If you’ve read my blog on wigs, you know the importance of high quality and appropriate wigs for MtF transformations.
When you buy a cheap wig, you get your money’s worth—fast loss of shine, tangling, matting, shedding, and all the above. You’ll look cheap, unsophisticated and probably masculine.
Your cheap wig will prevent you from having a good time and give you the worried look, which isn’t sexy. While others enjoy a nice meal or drinks, you’ll be somewhere in the bathroom combing the locks out and hoping that no one comes in.
You might be thinking that you’d rather rock your short hair than go through all that mess; that’s not a choice. Wigs do a lot apart from protecting our natural hair. They hide our masculine facial features—well-defined jaw and stuff—give us a soft look and make us more elegant. They also boost our confidence allowing us to be our true femme self.
So, as you shop for wigs, go for high-quality ones. You don’t want to look cheap or, much worse, have an awkward experience in public.
5. Wearing too-tight or too-short outfits
At this point, you understand the significance of fit! A wrong outfit can make you look short, dumpy, and unattractive. For instance, a short outfit will expose your defined masculine legs— especially for us crossdressers—as well as other features that will detract from your overall appearance.
So, how do you know if your clothes meet this standard? If the fly of your jeans puckers, your hamstring/glute’s transition is visible, and people can see the detail of your ‘willy’, then your jeans are too tight.
Always use the two-finger check to know whether your pants fit. Try fitting them between your hips and fabric; if you have to force them in or can’t get them in at all, you need to go up a size.
On the other hand, while you might be tempted to wear a form-fitting dress—especially after you’ve started acquiring some curves—be sure to avoid them.
If you can’t breathe out comfortably and relax your dress, you’ll appear far more stressed and bulky than feminine.
6. Making dude-like poses and walks
Your poses and walks are important factors in transitioning. So, if you have the habit of still walking and posing like a dude, you kindly need to stop—it reduces your elegance.
For posing, avoid flexing your abs or biceps. Pose in ways that emphasize your curves—hips, and breast. Look for female model pics and practice the poses in privacy.
On the other hand, I learned that short cute steps always work. The distance between your steps must be equal to the length of your foot when walking. Never use long strides. They’ll make you look strong and more masculine.
Also, long strides won’t allow you to properly swing your hips, especially if you’re walking on high-heeled shoes for the first time.
Another cool trick is lifting your feet with your toes close to the ground. This is essential for ensuring balance on heels. You don’t want to risk looking like an amateur or falling.
Practicing these tips will make you look graceful and confident. Be sure to do it in front of a mirror to ensure that your muscles learn how to move correctly.
7. Not minding your language
As you transition from male to female, it’s also essential to change the way you speak.
Men hardly ever mind their words because, in most cases, their fellow men don’t take offenses. I remember calling my guy friends all sorts of names while hanging out.
Because you want to be perceived as female, make sure your words are soft and sometimes seasoned with salt. Use friendly terms such as honey and darling—they always work for me.
Also, avoid vulgar terms or too much cursing. Use low soft tones when speaking. Even if your voice is deep, I can guarantee you that you’ll sound womanly.
Always remember that femininity entails softness. So, while your posture, clothes, and look may look feminine, your language can overshadow them.
And so my darlings, that’s it! These are the deadliest sins for us crossdressers or transgender people. Be sure to remember, don’t wear too tight or short outfits. Also, pose, walk and speak like a woman, wear the correct bra size and shave properly. And lastly, put on just enough make-up. Do you know any other tips? Be sure to share with members of our community below. Let’s start talking!